I haven't written here yet, although I've been meaning to, because it's quite a challenge to find people who are committed and dedicated to their partners in transition- and who actually feel able to do it. Not to say that it's easy by any means, but it's nice to find an online community like this for lots of reasons. I guess I'm writing this to introduce myself, but also to verbalize a lot of what I don't always articulate.
Anyway- by way of introduction, I am a 30 year-old queer female who lives in the Buffalo, NY area with my boyfriend who is (today, actually) celebrating 6 months on T. Things are going really well for him, although he's anxious to keep changing at warp speed. He's researching top surgeons now and will likely have that taken care of within the next couple years. I've learned to give him his shots at home, so we do biweekly injections-- which blows me away since I've never considered myself nurse-like in any way!! I bought him a digital voice recorder for Christmas, so he's been keeping track of his voice changes, which have been pretty remarkable so far. He even started shaving a couple months ago- as his facial hair has sprouted really quickly. He's gained a bunch of weight, which is a good thing because he was always a skinny minnie (Mickey!)... He's always been hot... but now, it's like- wow. He's really getting even better looking as he becomes himself. It's something amazing to see.
As far as "we" go, we've been "officially" together for almost 2 years as adults-- and were actually together for almost 2 years as teenagers in the mid '90s! We have a TON of history-- the stuff that afterschool specials/Lifetime movies are made of... and it never, ever ceases to surprise me that I've ended up in love with my first girlfriend again-- except now he's a guy. We've always been connected-- we stayed in touch for 10 years in between our teenage breakup and then the breakups of our respective long-term relationships which both coincidentally ended in 2006-- and then reconnected with a free and easy excitement that has brought us this far. God, I feel cheesy as I say these things, but it's no joke :) He was just starting to live as male when we first really got back in touch back in 2006, so I had time to adjust to the idea of his transition well before we got involved again romantically--- and although I suppose it was strange at first, I've had very little trouble with it over these past 4 years or so. I have identified as a lesbian/queer since we came out together in high school, and yet I've never really felt that my own identity was threatened in some way by his transition... or that I "couldn't" be with a man... I know that I love him, and that I always have loved him--- and that's just true and real.
Obviously, it's an odd thing to think about that people have known me to be "gay" might find it hard to believe that I'd want to have a boyfriend.... but it's not so cut and dry. People don't understand that. You could call me "bisexual" if that makes it easier, but it's not entirely true. He considers himself queer, no matter what- even though he is a man attracted to women, just as I am queer despite the fact that I am involved with (and attracted to) a man. My queerness is both historic and very current-- and it is what I am. Clearly, the more he transitions, the less likely it will be that we'd be viewed as a queer/lesbian couple (in fact, it seems to happen less and less lately based on his changing appearance)--- and that's a strange thing for me. I'm cool with it-- in fact, being stealth is kind of fun sometimes-- but it's something that feels strange. Basically, a relationship like ours is such that either we can choose to come out (or for him to come out), or we can choose not to do that. That's a tough call, as far as I'm concerned. Sure, nobody's a fan of coming out of any kind-- but then, it's also, like, do we WANT to have a secret, and sort of push our queer identities under the rug? There's no easy answer for that, to my thinking. I just know that we are in love, and that we are in this together, through the challenges that we face that only a very very small number of people could ever imagine--- and that's right where we're meant to be.
*sigh*-- anyway.... that was a bit of a lengthy soliloquy. I wasn't meaning to go there yet, but I did. I'd love to connect with people who find themselves in similar quandaries... :) Thanks for reading this far, if you did ;)